58.

the partner apparently made all the difference. I did not have the old compulsion to feel the snugness of a tight girdle or to feel the hem of my slip and skirt caressing my legs as I clicked along on my high heels. I forgot the thrill of hearing the silken rustle of my nylon covered legs being crossed or the lovely sight of the swell of my breasts, cup- ped in a white satin bra. This was all gone, while I discov- ered the delights of deeply fulfilled conjugal love.

But eventually the old urge welled up in me again. I would see my wife dressing; drawing on a pair of sheer nylon s and gartering them, fastening her bra behind her etc.; the se things reminded me of my delights in doing them myself. In particular, my wife had a lovely pair of lace-encrusted black satin flare legged panties, which I adored. I loved seeing her draw them on--I could almost feel them being drawn on me.

I awoke late one Sunday morning to find myself alone in the apartment--my wife was a nurse and worked irregular hours. As I lay in bed I thought of those lovely panties in her dres- ser drawer. Finally I could stand it no longer. I arose, opened the drawer, and took them out with trembling hands. So overcome I could hardly breath I stepped into them and slowly drew them on . It was even more delightful than I had dreamed it would be. And I was hooked again! After that, at every opportunity I would clothe myself in my wife's lin- gerie, dresses, shoes and jewelry. I gave her gifts of lin- gerie and jewelry which I was really buying for my own use.

She remained completely ignorant of the use of her clothes but I dreaded what would happen if she found out. She came from a family with very puritanical ideas and I was sure she would not welcome such a discovery. As a result I tried to resist the urge to dress as a woman to no avail. I became morose and irritable, I was so distracted and guilt ridden. Finally after about seven years of wearing her clothes the inevitable happened. She returned unexpectedly from an en- gagement to find me in her lovlist things--including jewel- ry and cosmetics.

At her insistance I saw another psychiatrist who inform- ed me that there was nothing to be done unless I really want-